Me as an old lady

so i seriously can't wait to be an old lady. I think i'd be the funniest old lady on the block! when kids come to my door and ask to mow my lawn i'll be like "you can do it for 5 dollars." and then say "when you're done just knock on my door, and if i don't answer....it's cause i passed away." HAHAHA i thought it was funny. Then i'd also be that old lady who goes to the duck pond and feeds the ducks and if there was candy in my pocket then maybe...but maybe by that time it wouldn't be so cool. michael jackson went and gave us a bad name....i don't even want to think of him as an old man....chills! And then i would live in a house by the lake...if it's down south...cool..if not..i can live w it. I'd go skinny dipping every night! I was thinking that if my husband dies first and if Jess' husband died first then we could get a house together and live happily ever after w our skinny dipping- sumo wrestling sort of ways..(sumo wrestling by stuffing our shirts and shorts w pillows that is....ewie..sorry if i got any icky pictures in your head at first). Yes it will be grand! if our kids come by trying to put us in a home we'll just feed them cake and send them on their way..siggghhhh that will be the life..maybe we can start an old lady nudist colony....eh..that's kind of ewie to think about. And then of course my dad will come by which of course he's still going to be alive..he does claim that he's going to outlive us all..and he'll be so old you're not even sure if that's actually skin anymore..but we'll all play skip-bo and settlers of catan..and it will be grand..haha that rhymed. and then maybe twister if we're up to it..but i'm not even up to it now..so...probably not. then my dad will shoot trespassers as he sits on out wooden deck in his rocking chair. and Jess and i will catch us some chickens...oh the life!

And then one night Jess and I will be sitting in front of the fire and i'll tell her that these have been the best 98.6 1/2 years of my life and she'll say the same thing only w a different percentage...she is younger than me by a year and two months. We'll sit there and soak in the heat of the fire and Jess coments on how lonely it would be without the other. I nod in agreement as a single tear slides down my cheek. then i tell her how much i miss my hubby but how happy i am to be spending these last days w her. and we'll sit there and rock in our chairs. The fire is burning low...getting smaller and smaller till all that is left is the embers..Jess gets up and walks over to to my ipod "i'm surprised that thing is even working after all these years!"
"I know, right?" says Jess. A familiar Song comes on..Happiness is a warm gun by Joe Anderson. "I love this song!!" I yelled only it was more like a whisper cause i had my tonsils taken out a couple years earlier due to an illness; "my voice just isn't the same as it used to be".

I look outside, "Crap! it's snowing..forgot to cover the wood!" and Jess says "ah, don't worry about it we'll save it for tomorrow, I am pretty tired." and we sit there and rock and rock. "I love you Rachelle." "I love you too Jess." "mother superior jumped the gun" the lyrics are soft but soothing for our long day. My eyes are getting tired and the fight to stay awake is losing. and we both drift off to sleep. In a sleep never to be wakened by the likes of children to put us in homes..or chickens that need to be caught, or Joe Anderson claiming that he's actually going to put out a record...cause Life is a great adventure and we were just lucky to have lived it together.

credits:

Rachelle Renae Bond as herself
Jessica Diane Arter as Jess
Dad as Dad.

two months later Bob Bond (Dad) died of natural causes...weren't sure if they were natural anymore at the age of 140+ years..but*shrug*


(I should be a writer...seriously)